Whether it is interpreting a physicians handwriting, transcribing the muffled rants of the dictating clinician or battling the auto-correct function of microsoft word…meaning can sometimes be lost in translation…

  • The patient has no previous history of suicides
  • Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.
  • Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
  • She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
  • Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
  • On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.
  • The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
  • The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
  • Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.
  • Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.
  • Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • She is numb from her toes down.
  • While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
  • The skin was moist and dry.
  • Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
  • Patient was alert and unresponsive.
  • Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
  • She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.
  • I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.
  • Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
  • Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
  • The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
  • Skin: somewhat pale, but present.
  • The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
  • Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
  • Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities
  • When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
  • The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.
  • Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
  • She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
  • Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
  • The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
  • By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

(Source: )


  1. mollydolly10 reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  2. pufflepie reblogged this from paulosthegreek and added:
    Fucking love it. In 20+ years of nursing I have spent so much bloody time trying to interpret doctors notes.
  3. fairrosalyn reblogged this from redjeep and added:
    Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. Really?
  4. redjeep reblogged this from paulosthegreek
  5. paulosthegreek reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  6. ilovehotcoffee reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  7. autumnkrepop reblogged this from nurse-on-duty and added:
    am laughing so hard at this…
  8. jv19 reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  9. birdsandthings reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  10. lilmsmayshine reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  11. shesadiamond reblogged this from nurse-on-duty and added:
    seen some of these things? Oh goshh smh lol
  12. jralfmr reblogged this from nurse-on-duty
  13. nurse-on-duty posted this